I doubt I will ever make a dime off of this project. Someday I might recoup the gas money that it took for me to travel the eight hours and couple hundred miles to southern UT. More than anything, it is a labor of love. The feeling of realizing a dream, creating something, and seeing an idea to fruition are secondary to the process of the creation. The exploration, the note taking, the compilation and ensuing organization were more then just a means to an end, they were the reason.
It is the journey, not the destination. So when folks ask me why, I find myself talking about endless days trudging through the canyon, looking up through dusty, sweat streaked glasses, searching for anchors or webbing. Or of putting the truck into four wheel and crawling through an old wash and down a two track, finding and climbing a previously unclimbed line. Or getting an email with a route name and date. Or watching a sunset from my tailgate as I boil a pot of water to make the daily rice and beans. I talk about hearing the coyotes howl, walking just a little bit further, finding an unexpected slot canyon or getting cornered by a bighorn sheep herd. It is this experiences that only increase my love of this place which in turn only makes me want to represent it online casino better in the written word.
This project has been on my docket for over five years now. The due date is fast approaching. I am supposed to have all my materials in to Jason Haas at Fixed Pin by January 1st. As I wrap up the work there is a bit of fear in me. Is it perfect? Is the information right? Did I write north and mean south, left and mean right? (I have been known to do that before.) Have I done this wonderful place justice? Have I taken away too much adventure? At some point I will need to trust myself, trust in my editing, revising and re-reading. Then I will need to hand it over to someone else with capable hands.
I think about the process and the empty spot not having it will leave and wonder what I will do now. Most likely I will just go climbing.